Digital Media and Your School-Aged Child

Jan 31, 2022

A couple of years ago our Pediatrician at Ballard Pediatrics handed me a paper titled Digital Media and Your School-Aged/Adolescent Child. It was remarkable because it was so overwhelming. Though only a single page front and back, it had 44 bullet points and 22 Internet links. I remember looking at it and thinking “No parent has time for this. Remember to tell the kids the Internet is a dangerous place, recycle this paper, move on.”

Stupid parenting guilt… I couldn’t bring myself to recycle it. Instead I put it in the stack of papers that never gets done. I’ve had “Read dumb Digital Media paper” in my bullet journal every month for a year now. Here’s a quick dive so I can cross it off the list. I ordered the list by priority.

My generated Family Media Plan

https://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/Media/Pages/How-to-Make-a-Family-Media-Use-Plan.aspx. It’s worth reading “Guide to Media Use in School-Age Children” on the first page. The only bolded sentence in the paper: Create and consistently adhere to a family media use plan that addresses what type and how much media is allowed per day. Communicate these guidelines to other caregivers.

Here’s what it generated for us:

  • Mobile devices & TVs are not allowed in the following areas:
    • Bedroom
    • Kitchen or dining room table
  • We will not use mobile devices:
    • While walking across the street
    • Doing homework
    • At school
    • In the car, except for long trips
    • Family time
    • Meal times
    • One hour before bed (devices charge outside of bedroom)
  • Co-view media and co-play video games with your kids
  • Productive uses of recreational screen time:
    • Video chat with friends or relatives
    • Age appropriate content
    • High-quality content
  • What to do while not on a screen:
    • Reading
    • Sleeping
    • Being with friends
    • Hobbies
    • Play a sport
    • Get outdoors
  • Digital citizenship:
    • Respect others
    • Stick up for others
    • Tell a parent or trusted adult about any uncomfortable text messages or photos.

No smartphones until at least 8th grade

https://www.waituntil8th.org/why-wait. It’s so easy to give your old phone to your 5th grader. We did. What a mistake. Waiting until high school makes a lot of sense. We course-corrected with the 2nd kid. Parents need to band together on this.

Family Online Safety Institute

https://www.fosi.org/. A lot of good stuff here. I was drawn to the Digital Resolutions for January. January is over now but I will put the checklist on my TODO for February.

Screenagers Movie and Tech Talk Tuesdays Newsletter

https://www.screenagersmovie.com. The 67 minute movie has great reviews and a compelling trailer about the effects of screens on teenagers, but is only available at live viewings to promote discussion. I submitted a request to have an online viewing for my family. (Sheesh! Do you want people to see it or not?)

https://www.screenagersmovie.com/blog. “Tuesday Tech Talks” blog posts. Also available as a weekly email newsletter.

Prevent Cyberbullying

https://www.stopbullying.gov/cyberbullying/prevention. Discussion guide for preventing cyber bullying. There are ways to take down bullying posts online. Look out for each other.

What Parents Need to Know About Sexting

https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapediatrics/fullarticle/2673714. Short and to the point.

Janet’s Story

Seattle Police Department (Internet Crimes Against Children Unit): https://www.seattle.gov/police/about-us/about-policing/icac. Dear lord. “Janet’s Story” was an internet kidnapping of a young girl. I watched the 2 minute “Middle School” version, and it knocked the wind out of me. She was rescued, but many aren’t. There is supporting materials for discussion.

Culture Reframed Parents program for pornography

https://www.culturereframed.org/. Just watched the 2 min overview video. Chilling. Most boys have seen pornography by 13 or 14. Most pornography is very aggressive. Pornography is the main source of sex education in the western world. They offer a 12 step class, each about 10 minutes long, for tweens and teens.

TED Talk “Addicted to Likes”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kCA_g2i1ZG8. 2016. 13 min video. A social media addict describes a handbook she wishes she had at the beginning:

  1. Prepare to be connected to the world. It is an amazing thing if used wisely.
  2. Everyone looks prettier, happier, and skinnier. Don’t believe it.
  3. Use it to be inspired and connected rather than to validate your life choices.
  4. People share what they want you to believe… pinch of salt as needed.
  5. Upload carefully… that (inappropriate) photo of you might be less funny when applying for a job.
  6. Be kind to people online, every glossy account hides a sensitive soul, struggling with their own battles.
  7. Avoid scrolling feeds if you’re feeling a bit low, instead focus on what YOU HAVE over what you don’t.
  8. Nurture yourself before others.
  9. Choose Love over “likes”.
  10. Live life for experiences, not for instagram.

National Association of Media Literacy’s Free Guide for Parents

https://namle.net/a-parents-guide/. Don’t believe fake news.

Social Media Posting Rules of Thumb

American Psychological Association (parental social media posting): https://www.apa.org/monitor/2017/07-08/social-media.aspx. Good small “rules of thumb” list for social media posts.

Books

  • 2020: “Parenting in the Screen Age: A Guide for Calm Conversations”
  • 2006: “The Elephant in the Living Room: Make Television Work for Your Kids”

Remaining links with duplicate information or didn’t make the cut